Fast forward - It is 2015 and before the end of 2014 I reunited with who happened to be the love of my life that I had met in the 9th grade. My crush. Who would have thought? I met him years before in the same parish I felt the pain of my life almost being snatched from me. Mandeville, Jamaica. That place holds my greatest pain and my greatest joy. I have since not returned to Jamaica except for one trip to Negril. I had/have this sour taste in my mouth but it is slowly fading. Whatever hurts can be healed. If it wasn't for him and all his amazing stories about home, I probably would have never even given returning there a second thought. I am not all the way recovered, however, returning isn't as far out of my mind as it used to be. One day...
As for him - I found him when he needed to be found. He found me when I needed to be found. I am SO thankful for a man like HIM. I waited all this time because I was waiting for him. No one else made sense to me. No one realized that beneath the hard exterior I was fragile and I needed love. He will never understand what he means to me. He makes up for all the betrayal from every man I've encountered, including my father. Even if we should part, he did for me what no one else could. He restored my faith and showed me a love I have never known before. Why am I telling you my business? To help you regain hope in life, in love and more than anything - in yourself. #DidYouDie? If you didn't, you have a chance to feel the way you deserve to feel - GOOD. No situation is tougher than YOU ARE!
I am still not all the way over things, maybe i never will be because the memories are remarkably vivid. But, I saw the purpose for all the pain - I went back to Cayman and locked down so many amazing achievements. Though the pain lingered over my head like a rain cloud, I didn't let it ruin me or my chances at happiness. I realized that being on the island has served its purpose and it was time to leave. With no plans, I packed my bags and ended up into the life I've dreamt of. I found him here. I found the doorway to my dreams here. I found happiness and peace where I am right now and I am grateful.
I hope this little piece of info encourages you even in the slightest. That was the intention. I am remarkably private but sometimes something moves me to share and I just can't shake the feeling.
-love cloz<3